WITHIN ONE WEEK OF THE LOSS
OF A SPOUSE….

? Get 30 copies of the death certificate. You'll need proof of death
for almost every benefit and claim request as well as for transferring joint
accounts to your name. Your funeral director may be able to expedite the
process. You can order them direct from the Bureau of Vital Statistics where
the death took place.

For Broward County: 2421-A S.W. 6th Avenue, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33315
For Miami Dade County: 1350 N.W. 14 Street, Miami, FL. 33125
For West Palm Beach: P.O. Box 29, West Palm Beach, FL 33402
For the State of Florida: P.O. Box 210, Jacksonville, FL 32231-0042.

? Gather necessary financial documents. Many people mistakenly
think their spouses had insurance, when, in fact, a policy may have lapsed. Or
they fail to apply for other benefits to which they might be entitled. These
include…

? Unpaid salary and bonuses from employers, including
commissions, deferred compensation and unused vacation and sick days.

? Social Security. Contact the Social Security Administration to
inquire about you eligibility for spouse's benefits. 1-800-772-1213,
www.ssa.gov.

? Payment protection for auto loan and mortgage payments. Consult
your spouse's insurance agent.

? Insurance policies from charge and credit card issuers. Your
spouse may have signed up for insurance to cover credit card agreement.

? Insurance and retirement benefits from unions or professional
organizations. Talk to the benefits director.

? Be realistic about meeting short-term financial needs. Even if
you expect a large insurance settlement, it may not come for several weeks or
even months. Estimated time from filing benefits to actually receiving a
check…

? Life insurance/two weeks
? Social Security/two weeks
? Company pension/four weeks

? Contact creditors. Many banks and mortgage companies are
willing to freeze payments for several months. Explain your situation, and
obtain a written payment plan.

? Defer all but essential financial decisions. There is little downside
to putting off a big decision---but making a hasty one can have severe
consequences.

Example: A client was the beneficiary of her husband's life insurance
policy. The insurer asked if she wanted to purchase an annuity that paid out
an annual income in lieu of a lump sum. Annuities are attractive to grieving
people because they offer lifetime security. But they are also irrevocable.
Instead of purchasing an annuity, I suggested the client leave her
benefits with the insurer and receive interest payments on the money until she
had a clearer idea about her future. The insurance company pays a
competitive rate and provides the grieving spouse an excuse if family
members ask for money.
Other decisions to defer…

? Paying off the mortgage. It's tempting to pay off your mortgage if
you get a large payout. But as long as interest rates remain low, it may be
wiser to keep the money in more liquid investments rather than tie it up in a
residence. You may also need the tax deductions from your mortgage
payments.

? Large loans to friends who have been helpful to you after your
loss. Tell them, "My advisers say I shouldn't make any big money decisions
right now. Why don't we talk about it in six months?"

? Selling your home or moving to a different part of the country.
Wait a year before making this kind of decision.

? Don't delay paying off car loans, education loans and credit
cards. This is a good idea if the rate of your ongoing interest payments is
more than 7%---the conservative, after-tax rate of return you would otherwise
expect from investing the money in equities. And remember, unlike stock
investing, there is no risk involved in paying off debt. With limited
exceptions, the interest on such loans is not deductible.

? Keep a financial notebook. Write down dates, times, names and
notes from conversations related to benefits. It's risky to rely on your
memory when you're in the midst of a crisis.

WITHIN ONE MONTH
OF THE LOSS…

? Answer the question, What must change now? You probably had
a long-term financial plan before the crisis. Decide what elements of that
plan need to altered. Many don't.
Create a net worth statement of assets and debts. Review your original
goals for one, five, 10 and 20 years. Can you still save for your important
goals, such as college educations, weddings and retirement? How much do
you need to change your lifestyle to meet these needs?

? Keep your job, at least until you revise your financial plan. Take a
leave of absence if you must.

? Resist the tendency to splurge.
Example: A client spent $20,000 of an insurance settlement to take
her whole family on a European vacation. She told me spending money to
bring her family together gave her a sense of control in her life. But she really
wasn't able to afford it.

? Be wary of handling control of your finances to your family.
Family members, no matter how well-meaning, may not have the experience
to give proper advise or may give advise that may not be in your best interests.

? Calculate your taxes. Make sure you know the amount of
estimated tax you have to pay in the year of your spouse's death to avoid
penalties. Social Security is partially taxable if your income is above a certain
level.
If you own a home, ask an appraiser for the value of the house on the
day your spouse passed away. You'll need this to calculate how much estate
tax you owe, whether or not the house was jointly owned.
In addition, figure the value of your investment assets as of the date of
death. It's necessary to establish basis values for tax purposes in the event
that you sell those assets. Talk to your accountant.

To find missing tax returns: IRS, 1-800-829-1040, www.irs.gov, or
visit your local IRS office.

The happiest, most successful people share six characteristics that
anyone can develop. Here's how…

MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

While having a positive attitude won't guarantee the results you want,
it is more effective that thinking negatively.
I prefer the term "constructive thinking" to "positive thinking"---
because no one can have positive thought all the time. Constructive thinkers
recognize their negative ideas but don't get dragged down by them.
A positive attitude isn't just optimism in the face of adversity. It also
means being open to fun. Laughter has healing power---use it!

Exercise 1: Start every meeting—or every conversation with a loved
one—with the " Daily Four." Share a piece of good news… describe
something for which you are thankful…give a compliment …and say
something funny.

Exercise 2: Keep a journal, and write about the people and things for
which you are grateful every day. You'll soon find that you're focusing on
what's right in your life instead of getting bogged down in what's wrong.

BRING OUT THE BEST IN OTHERS

No one becomes successful in isolation. Successful people actively
build string relationships. They do it by bringing out the best in others.
Consider Benjamin Franklin. Through often thought of as a natural
diplomat, he wasn't born that way. Franklin wrote that he had to work hard to
overcome his tendency to fault others. As an experiment, he vowed to look
for the good in others instead of judging or criticizing them—and to say only
kind things about people. The experience affected him profoundly, and he
credited these efforts for much of his diplomatic skills.
Don't just look for the good in people—tell them about it. Make a
point of affirming at least two people every day. And say thank you at every
opportunity. Showing appreciation is one of the surest ways to nature string
relationships.

SET GOALS

Goals help us take charge of our loves. They give us a sense of what
is possible. Each step taken toward achieving a goal builds confidence.
To set powerful goals—and reach them….

? Don't confuse goals with wishes. Whishes are vague thoughts that
we hope will happen—such as the desire to be happy, rich, famous, etc.
Goals are dreams with deadlines.

? Write down your goals. Also write down the steps needed to
accomplish them… obstacles to over come…people who can help…what you
need to learn… what the rewards will be.

? Balance your goals. Divide them into categories that reflect life in
all its variety—career, family, income, adventure (things I want to do),
ownership (things I want to have), educational (things I want to learn),
athletic, spiritual . Set goal in each area.

? Review your goals. Look at your list every week. This keeps you
motivated and alert to opportunities.